


Warm up writing

by IggysNewRecipe



Series: Fökin writing that made me laugh while writing it. [4]
Category: Final Fantasy XV, Fortnite - Fandom, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: "fuck you and fuck this mess ignis", "that's not a bloody word caelo. clean up your mess", -clutches chest- m-my otp, -legit crying-, Bad wanguage, Cocaine, Crack, F/M, FUCK, FoRtNiTe WhAt Is ThE pOiNt Of BuIlDiNg A fOrT wHeN uR jUs GoNnA gO nItE nItE?!, Gen, Gladio and Ignis fight, LEVIHAN ISBR EAL, LITTLE BITCH ILL FIGHT YO BITCH ASS GET THE FUCK OVER HERE SLUT, Levi and Midas are my new otp, Like not actual crack but crack writing, M/M, Talking makes it all better, This is just warm up writing I make randomly at time, V-Bucks, Y'all ever flex on your brother for literally no reason, because im living through it, cant stop wont stop, drug mention, every chapter i post in this is cancer and shouldn't be read, fork knife brutus, fork knife midas, fork knife roy g meowscles, fuck me in the asshole, fuck that shit, fuck x2, fuck x3, gladio just says hey, huu fuCK YOU IF YOU CANT HANDLE THE WORD FUCK, i ahte chapter 5, i can't wait for the commetns, i fucking hate this shit so much oh my god, i had a wet dream about him once i'll be honest, i really hope nobody sees me posting this i really do, i want him to bend me over a table and fuck me til he shoots his load on my ass, i'd fuck him, im already turned on by it, im so sorry if you read the previous tag, it'll never end, it's so bad, it's unbearable, literally it makes Ignis go wild and he becomes happy, midas forkknife is hot, midas is so fucking hot, nice, someone please stop me, tags will be updated as we go, they hurt me sometimes but I love them, why, with their lips, yeet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2020-12-27 08:24:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21115718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IggysNewRecipe/pseuds/IggysNewRecipe
Summary: I feel as though it's right to just- write what comes to mind. This is going to be a chapter collection of what I write as "warm ups", before I write something serious. These are usually something terrible, like excessive drug use, or fruits sexually harassing someone. This does not fit into one fandom, and I don't expect people to read this, only for one person I know will for sure read this.





	1. Caelo Brought In Cocaine, Ignis.

Clarus called him to his office for a reason, right? 

Caelo did something wrong and he had to be punished for it, right? 

That was just what he expected when he walked in, however what he did not expect was what he walked in to. Clarus was settled nicely at his desk, skimming through what one would be able to assume was reports. 

Clarus noticed Ignis and nodded at him, "Ah, hello Ignis. Perfect, we must discuss what your younger brother brought in." 

Ignis walked into the room, closing the door behind him, he noticed white powder in neat lines with a small razor next to them.   
"Is this... Cocaine..?" 

Clarus nodded, "You know what this means, Ignis." 

The tall blonde nodded, "Indeed. I will not try to defend h-" 

"What? No, it means we're going to par-tay." Clarus said, shoving his face into the lines and began snorting the powder violently, Ignis staring at him in horror as he did so.


	2. I’m gonna punch your mouth, with MY mouth.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignis and Gladio get physical with each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gladios mad at iggy for being too hot and not letting him show iggy off to everyone

towering over him, purposely puffing to make himself look bigger and more intimidating. 

“What’re you going to do to me, big boy?” 

Gladiolus scowled at Ignis, trapping him against one of the lockers in the training hall’s washrooms, “I’m going to punch you in the mouth.” 

“Yeah? Are you?!” 

“Yeah! And I’m gonna do it with my mouth!!” 

Ignis scoffed, “Then do it!” 

Gladiolus growled then grabbed Ignis by his hips and pulled him closer, shoving his lips to Ignis’ in a frustrated kiss. Ignis returned the kiss, lifting a leg to wrap around his waist as he moved his hands up to tug at his hair, hard. Gladiolus didn’t even get permission from Ignis to shove his tongue in his mouth as he and Ignis began tongue wrestling, using what was going on in their mouths as an excuse to ‘fight’ the other. 

The two men then finally stopped and pulled away with a large, clear trail of saliva being left behind in their wake. Ignis pressed a quick kiss to Gladiolus’ lips, taking the remains into his mouth as he lowered his leg from the man’s body. The two glared at one another for a few more seconds until Gladiolus spoke, “You’re so fucking sexy right now.” 

“As are you, if there weren’t any people here right now I’d ride you on that bench behind you.” Ignis admitted, pointing to the bench behind the man. 

Gladiolus smirked, “Who cares if anyone sees?” 

Ignis made a noise of disapproval, “Let’s shower. We can finish in there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my Twitter I’m so funNYY!!!2!!2!!211!!
> 
> https://mobile.twitter.com/iggysnewrecipe
> 
> also yeah boy u punch that Brit in the mouth with your mouth hell yeah


	3. Hey.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gladio greets Ignis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to write this vignette before I fell asleep and lost it to the abyss.

After all that happened today, Ignis just wanted some sleep. He was exhausted, sleep deprived, and downright angry from the work day he had. He overloaded himself again like he did every single day and at this point, he was just looking forward to his bed. Once Ignis arrived to his shared apartment with his boyfriend, he opened the door, plopped his suitcase down then rubbed at the tense muscles on his temples. Ignis looked up and saw Gladiolus setting on the loveseat with a book in his hand, smiling at him. 

“Hey.” He greeted. 

From that very word alone Ignis felt all of his anger wash away like soap on a dish. His cheeks heated up and he looked at the man. He smiled, knowing full well that if he were in a cartoon right now his eyes would be hearts, and raised his hand to give a small wave. 

“Hello.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls follow my Twitter at iggysnewrecipe, I was the one who tweeted all those stupid Ignis things


	4. YEET.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ignis and Caelo play scrabble.
> 
> Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is what no regrets looks like

Caelo grinned as he placed the 'e' letter down as he looked down at the scrabble board, smirking suddenly as he remembered that the letter before the 'e' he placed was a 'y'. His smirk grew even bigger as he quickly placed the next 'e' afterwards, and then a 't'. Satisfied, he looked up to his brother proudly. Ignis quirked a brow as he looked down at the board. His eyes looked up to meet Caelo's.

"Yeet?" he asked, confused.

Caelo grabbed both sides of the board and flipped it onto Ignis. 

"YEET."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on twITTERR
> 
> https://twitter.com/Iggysnewrecipe


	5. "Can I have like.. Ten gil?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caelo just wants some fucken' V-Bucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the worst part is that i'm venting through this

"Hey uh. So Iggy Igs.." Caelo started.

"Yes, Angel?" Ignis asked, looking away from his computer to Caelo. Caelo chuckled nervously then cleared his throat quickly. "I uh. You um. You know how you said uhm.." Caelo started to press his fingers together, anxiety clear. "You remember how uh, you said that um, while I uh, don't get an allowance that like um.. I can just like. Ask you for money?"

Ignis raised a brow. "Yes, I do remember that."

"Can I have like.. Ten gil..?"

"What for?"

"It's.. For a game.."

"What? A game? You're spending money on a game?"

"Well yeah like- I just want V-Bucks Iggy Igs.." Caelo replied quietly, face heating up from utter mortification.

Ignis grinned at him, amused. Caelo never really asked Ignis for money, so when he did it was both hilarious but also so terribly adorable.

"You want V-Bucks?" Ignis asked, amused.

"I.. do.."

"Why should I let you get these- V-Bucks?"

"Iggy! Come onn, you know I hate asking you for money when I could very well make some myself!"

Ignis began practically cackling, head throwing back in his chair as he'd done so.

"Alright! Alright, you can have ten gil. Oh Angel, if you want to spend twenty you can go right ahead."

"I hate you so much sometimes."

"It's the black and gray card, you know which one."

"I hate you so much right now." Caelo said, quickly leaving the room.

Ignis chuckled and turned back to his computer. "You'd best remember who's buying you these V-Bucks, Caelo!"

A noise of annoyance was the only response he received.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen guys i've been playing fortnite a shit ton lately because i'm a fucking gay ass trans loser bitch named fucking iggy so uh yeah send help i'm actually about to play it after this chapter and another chapter goes live cause, like i said, i'm a loser
> 
> default skin jonesey says that vaping causes 200 damage to your shield and health, good day children


	6. Shit Iggy says about Midas when playing Fortnite, but it's FFXV characters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title is the summary. i'm not sorry yet at the same time i am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as said earlier, it's true, i am
> 
> i was able to scrounge like a slut and get the fortnite season 2 battle pass so here's this, it contains alot of midas sexualization and i'm so sorry but also i regret none of it

Ignis pointed to the screen. "Gladio look. Look. Look at the screen."  
"You're pointing at Midas."  
"He's my boyfriend, Gladio. I love him."  
\---------------------------  
Ignis pointed at the screen. "Gladio."  
"What."  
"Look, it's Midas."  
"I see that."  
"I want him to stick his fingers up my asshole and turn me into fucking gold."  
\---------------------------  
"I saw Fortnite porn the other day."  
Gladio covered his face with both of his hands, wishing Ignis would stop speaking.  
"Yeah, did you?"  
"Yes, it was with Midas and TnTina. I did not like it."  
\---------------------------  
Ignis reached out to grab the screen and sighed.  
"I love you, Midas."  
\---------------------------  
"Oh FUCK yeah, I'm going to FUCK you UP, MIDAS." Ignis said, watching his character grab Midas by the collar and interrogate him.  
"Remove the up from that sentence." Prompto replied.  
"Oh FuCk yeah, I'm going to FuCk you, MIDAS."  
\---------------------------  
"I just wish he was real." Ignis said, lying on the floor, dry crying.  
\---------------------------  
"So when like.. Midas jizzes, do you think it's golden?" Gladio asked.  
"It was in the porn I saw." Ignis replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you enjoyed this chapter you're sure to enjoy the next one i'm about to post
> 
> also please note that these conversations were had by myself, and my brother who was not wanting to put up with my shit as i said it


	7. Sweaters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midas jsut wants to fugking give his cat a damn swaaerter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a hc dont judge me pls, it's a phase it'll pass once i get that fucking midas skin is2g

The door flew open. Brutus looked up and saw a familiar, very pale face.

"Midas?" He asked, brows furrowed. He set his knitting supplies down. Midas watched as the man did, lips slightly parted. Midas stared for a bit at Brutus' hands before clearing his throat.

"Were you just knitting, Agent?"

"I was."

Midas seemed to be thinking if his brows furrowing was anything to go off of.

"If I give you payment, might I ask of something?"

Brutus blinked a few times. "What?"

"If I pay you, would you knit something that I ask you to?" Midas asked, clearly not liking this conversation as much as Brutus was.

"I suppose. I don't see why I couldn't." The large man replied, adjusting his sunglasses.

"Splendid. Are you able to create sweaters?"

"I made Skye's hat for her."

"Sarcasm is not a virtue."

"Yes, I can."

Midas clapped, smiling. "Splendid!"

"You want me to knit a sweater for you, Midas?"

"For me? No no, for Roy."

"Roy?"

"My cat, Roy?"

Brutus looked a little confused. Midas sighed.

"Meowscles?"

"Ah yes, Meowscles, I can knit something that large." Brutus began reaching for his tools again before realizing that Midas, the head of the agency, just asked him to knit a sweater for his cat, Roy. There was alot of things wrong with what just happened, but if he was to get paid? He was willing.

"Perfect," Midas started, "If you finish it within the week, I'll be sure to pay you handsomely, Roy is low on his sweater stock." He said, humming the last bit. Brutus looked up at Midas, about to ask what that even meant, but ultimately decided on not doing it.

"I'll probably have it done within a few days." Brutus replied gruffly.

"Wonderful." Midas replied. He began leaving the room. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have important matters to discuss elsewhere." He said, acting as if he wasn't about to discuss those important matter with Brutus. "Toodles~." Midas hummed, his goodbye echoing down the hall into the room Brutus was in.

"What the fuck??"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (EMOTIONAL) fortnite midas gives brutus a blowjob?!?!? (Spoilers) (not clickbait!)
> 
> i actually made midas my steam profile picture and im gonna do it here too and the only person who gets to judge me is the person who reads every chapter i post, you know who you are, so judge me plea se


	8. Glasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midas shares why he has a scar on his face. Bonus: SpecDas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i keep writing fortnite?? hmmm who knowS??? not me that's for sure
> 
> now if youll excuse me im going to go draw midas in glasses cause it turns me on!!!!!!!
> 
> aLSO I saw some porn of midas and his cat and i read a comment on it and it's forever burned into my mind please kill me

Midas walked into the break room, coffee in hand, glasses on his face, tired. He noticed that his agents were staring at him, confused.

"Sir?" Maya asked.

"What."

"Permission to speak?"

"Float your boat."

"Are you wearing glasses?"

Midas sighed, adjusting the glasses she was talking about.

"Uh yeah, here they are, on my face. Are you blind, Agent."

"No, but you are." She replied, grinning dumbly.

Maya then remembered that Midas had a blind eye and stopped smiling quickly.

"Sir, I am so-"

"I don't care. I left my contact lense at home, I'm too tired to go back and get it now." He sighed.

"SiR you look SUPER hot with glasses on!"

"Get back to work Scientia, I will not hesitate to shoot."

"You got it boss!" Scientia said, saluting badly and leaving.

Midas sighed, leaning against the counter.

"I don't know if I told you this yet, but the reason I have a blind eye is because of Roy G."

"..What?"

"Meowscles one day didn't like that I told him no, so he attacked me. I'm surprised that he didn't maul me and had half a brain to get off of me and.. apologize? I couldn't quite tell, but he seemed like he felt bad for it."

"Oh."

There was a small silence.

"Tragic."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> scientia is a shameless self insert don't at me okay midas is hot plea se


	9. Don't make me kiss you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi threatens Midas with a good time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi Ackermann, from Attack On Titan, threatening Midas, from Fortnite, with a dastardly plan.

"Holy shit." Levi said, glaring at the golden eyed man next to him that was poking the side of his arm for a good three minutes. Midas looked at Levi, grinning stupidly at him.

"What's wrong?" Midas asked, sitting up straight so he could look better at Levi.

"You're so fucking annoying you bitch ass." Levi replied, glaring.

"But you love it, right?"

"No. I hate it so much, like you."

"Awhahaww." Midas laughed, smiling at the short, angry man in front of him. "Don't be that way Levi."

"Midas I swear to God."

Midas laughed dumbly as Levi glared at him. "What're you gonna do, huh buddy?"

Levi stood up, looking down at the Midas infront of him, jabbing a finger in his face.

"I will fucking kiss you, you bitch."

Midas was silent for some seconds.

"You'll.. You'll what..?"

"I will fucking kiSs you, Midas! I'll do it, don't make me you fucking prick!"

Midas scoffed. "Don't threaten me with a good time!"

The two both were silent for some seconds.

"That's so gay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> levi is hot and so is Midas and so it shuichi saito and so is Roy mustang and so is talon from lol ok listen I can explain


	10. Affections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and hange are in love and Levi's an ass basically

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love these two they're my OTPP DJE JENN HEJSJQ

With a small content sigh, Levi pressed a soft kiss to Zoë's cheek, tenderly stroking it once he pulled away. The scientist was confused, raising a brow at her lover she decided to confront this sudden act of affection.

"What made you all lovey dovey? I thought you hated it." She asked, grinning dumbly at Levi. Levi scoffed.

"I'll be lovey dovey whenever I want, shitty glasses." Levi said, gently running his hand through Zoë's hair, trying to untie the band. Zoë began laughing at his clumsy attempt and gently pulled his hand away.

"Levi! Just what are you doing?!"

"Isn't it obvious? I wanna touch your damn hair!" Levi shot back, successfully removing the hair band.

"See was that so hard?" He muttered under his breath. Levi soon felt the wind get knocked out of him though.

She looked amazing with her hair down, she really should have it down like this way more often. Levi already knew she was beautiful, but seeing her like this? Damn. She looked even more beautiful somehow.

"Didn't your parents tell you it's rude to stare?" Zoë asked.

"I never knew my parents." Levi replied breathlessly, amazed by just how.. gorgeous she was- no- is.

Zoë chuckled. "Well, it's rude to stare."

Levi rolled his eyes. "Whatever dumb ass." He said before leaning in to press a soft, loving kiss onto his woman's lips.

"I'll be lovey dovey when I want to, I love you." Levi said, pressing another kiss to her lips.

"Fuck off." He breathed against Zoë's lips as they shared a passionate kiss together.

"You know Levi, sometimes I just can't tell what you're thinking at times." Zoë said, brushing some stray strands of Levi's hair away.

"And honestly I couldn't care less if you did or didn't you bastard."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I photoshopped Levi's face on mister clean because that's levi amrhays


End file.
